I've been going through a major transition lately.
(No, not menopause. But that's right around the corner, thanks for asking.)
And let me tell you, I'm not a fan. (Of transitions or menopause.)
That's not entirely true. I LOVE starting things. And being in transition means that something new is coming.
But unfortunately, transitions also mean something needs to end.
In fact, that's where all transitions begin: with an ending.
Phase #1: Endings
Most people don't like endings. Unless it's the end of a long boring speech or a terrible movie, we avoid endings because they're uncomfortable.
I remember avoiding an ending nearly every summer of my childhood: leaving Finland.
All of the relatives would come to our cabin to say goodbye and line up to give hugs as we walked to the car. I HATED this day and dreaded it for weeks. So, when the day came to leave the cabin and begin our journey south to Helsinki, where we'd catch a plane back home, I'd hide.
Under the bed, in a closet, wherever I could find so I didn't have to say goodbye.
Endings suck, but they're also necessary to transition into the next phase of our life.
When you find yourself facing a time of transition, the first thing you need to ask yourself is:
What do I need to let go of?
Getting rid of the old is the first step to taking on the new.
Phase #2: Neutral Zone
Unfortunately, we can't jump right to the new thing after letting go. As William Bridges says in his book Transitions, after letting go of the old we now enter what he calls, "the neutral zone."
Folks, I can speak from experience when I say, the neutral zone BLOWS.
This is where you know you're done with the old thing, but you're not totally clear what the new thing is.
But here's what's important to remember: hanging out in the neutral zone is where you get clear on next steps, what you want, and which direction you want to take.
When you rush your time in the neutral zone you often make costly mistakes and only have to start over again.
Surrender to the neutral zone. Just stand still for a minute. Clarity will come, I promise.
Phase #3: New Beginnings
Woot woot! The phase we've all been waiting for! Now you can start the new thing. But a word of caution: don't obsess over results here. Especially at the beginning. You're trying things out, feeling your way around. Be kind to yourself!
We all experience transitions in our life from time to time. The key is to surrender to the process.
To learn more give this podcast a listen, and pick up a copy of Transitions by William Bridges.
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