The Pain Problem

If you've been following me for a while, you know I love thought work. Choosing how you think affects how you feel, which governs how you act which determines your results.

But just because we can choose our thoughts doesn't mean you'll never feel pain.

Sometimes life is painful.

What I'm concerned about is when you cause yourself unnecessary pain.

For example, when you lose a trial, it often hurts. And that's normal. I'm not suggesting that if you just thought about it differently, you'd stop feeling the pain of losing.

What I am suggesting is that you add to your distress when you beat yourself up, tell yourself you're a terrible lawyer, freak out and never go to trial again, etc.

All of that is unnecessary pain.

Isn't this job hard enough? Why add unnecessary pain to an already painful career?

Here's the deal: most of you fall into one of two camps: you either go out there and fight and then when you lose, cause yourself the unnecessary pain I just described, or you AVOID pain by living small and not taking risks or chances.

Neither is good.

The path to greatness begins when you take courageous action knowing it may cause you pain. And when that pain comes, you feel it. You don't drink it away, eat it away, sleep it away or otherwise shove it down. You accept it and let it be.

Learning how to BE with your pain is where things get good. The "greats" have all accepted that pain is a part of life and instead of avoiding it, they accept it as part of the deal.

Stop avoiding pain by playing small or adding pain by beating yourself up and instead, embrace the pain that life (and this career) naturally brings. You'll be much happier, I promise, when you can learn to live with pain instead of attempting to outrun it all the time. 

Give From Hostage to Hero Podcast "Episode 44-How to Deal with Pain" a listen to learn more.