Ok, it's January 6th, so maybe you've already planned your year, but if you haven't, I've got five essential questions for you to answer before you do.
When most people plan their year, (or New Year's Resolutions or what have you) they start by what they want to do or accomplish.
I suggest you start with a different question.
Question #1: How do I want to be this year?
All doing flows from being. Meaning, however you "are" is what you will produce. Frantic, frazzled and panicked? You'll produce frantic, frazzled results.
Start your planning by asking yourself, "how do I want to be this year?" For me, I want to be calm, at peace and have lots of space. That informed how I put my schedule together.
Question #2: What's my theme for the year?
Once I decided I wanted to be calm, at peace and have lots of space, I asked...why?
And the answer was because I had had a pretty frantic year of getting my book done and edited and to print and it was time to settle in for some development; of myself, of my business and of the From Hostage to Hero brand. So that became my theme for the year: DEVELOPMENT. All of my scheduling choices now flow from that question. Is this something that will develop me or my business or From Hostage to Hero? If the answer is no, I don't make time for it.
Question #3: How can I schedule this?
It's one thing to decide how you want to be and what your theme is, but now you need to bring it into reality. For me, I need space to develop. So, I created a schedule where I have lots of down time so I can study and work on my business.
Whatever you decide, carve out time for you FIRST, and then add in all of your other obligations.
Question #4: What are my routines?
As you're scheduling, don't forget about routines that help you attune to yourself.
What do I mean "attune?" Routines that help you feel your best and center you for the work you have ahead of you. For me I have a morning routine that includes morning pages, (see Julia Cameron's Artist Way) journaling, exercise and meditation. I also have an evening routine that includes online courses, a quiet time ritual, reading and stretching. These don't have much, if anything to do with "development" they’re just for me. I suggest you decide on some routines you can count on as you move through your year as well.
Question #5: What are your boundaries?
Once you've scheduled out your life to reflect how you want to be, you need to decide on your boundaries. What will you say yes to? What will you say no to? Creating a litmus test can help. For me, before accepting any gig or client I ask myself four questions:
1. Do I want to do this?
2. Does it fit my schedule?
3. Does it advance my goals?
4. Does the money make sense?
If I can't answer at least three questions affirmatively, I don't even consider it. I have other boundaries too; I only ever work one weekend a month. I only see a certain amount of clients each day, etc.
What are YOUR boundaries?
2020 vision is seeing clearly. Let 2020 be your year to get focused and living a life YOU'VE designed instead of merely reacting to all of life's challenges and waking up 20 years from now in a life you don't enjoy or recognize.
Happy New Year!
Give this podcast episode a listen to learn more.
It's easy to get angry at trial.
Lying witnesses, judges who block your planned voir dire, and opposing counsel that continually object have a way of getting you hot under the collar.
But communicating anger at trial can be dangerous.
First off, anger can cloud your judgement. Allowing yourself to get angry can take you off your game and cause you to make decisions that aren't good for you or your client.
Second, communicating anger at trial sends the message to jurors: "This.Is.Personal." Which means you are now, nonverbally, at least, asking the jury to award you, the trial lawyer, a verdict, instead of your client. No jury is willing to do that.
But third, and most importantly, anger communicated at trial reduces the amount of "space" allowed for anger. When you get angry at trial, you force jurors to "balance out" the emotional energy. If you're angry, they must remain calm, or the atmosphere gets too tense.
There are three things you can do when you feel angry at trial:
Don't let anger take you off course. When you feel angry, breathe and try and drop it. If you can't, let it be. And if appropriate, express it.
Remember: the truth needs no defense; it needs a voice. Your job is to be that voice so truth can prevail at trial.
Give this podcast a listen to learn more.
Have you ever been told you need to, "Own the space?"
What does that actually mean?
Let's first discuss what we mean by "space." We tend to think of space as what is contained within the four walls we're communicating in. But space is not contained by walls. You can enlarge or shrink the space, affecting how it feels to others.
By bringing awareness to it.
Have you ever gone out to eat with someone and felt as though they weren't "there?" One of two things are possible in that scenario: they are either in their head, shrinking the space so small that you feel left out, or they have taken in the entire restaurant into their awareness making you feel lost in it.
How you think about space affects how it feels.
Most presenters, when standing in front of an audience, are in their heads, and it shows. When you're thinking about your content or nervous about what you're about to say, you appear small and constricted to others.
However, when you expand your sense of space, bringing in the entire room and its occupants, and maybe even the hallway outside or the entire building, you expand. You appear large and in charge to others.
But you not only have to increase your awareness of space, you have to move as though you belong there.
That means no side-stepping, no backing up, and no sashaying. (But do send video if you do this.) Just turn and walk normally. Use big gestures and pausing. This communicates to jurors, "I belong here. This is my space. Welcome."
And THAT is what it means to "own the space." Even if you are, however briefly, borrowing it from the judge. ;)
To learn more, give this podcast a listen.
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