Now before we talk about how to get your mindset right, there’s something else you need to do.
You’ve got to increase your IQ. No, I’m not trying to low-key insult you. I’m not talking about your smarts. I’m talking about NONVERBAL intelligence. I doubt any of you woke up this morning thinking, “You know what I need? I need to increase my nonverbal intelligence!” Of course, you didn’t. But that only proves my point: nonverbal intelligence is one of those things that you don’t realize you need until it’s pointed out to you.
On the flip side, how many of you wondered today why that conversation with your spouse didn’t go the way you thought it would, or why your paralegal bristled when you asked a totally benign question? Or did you notice that your colleagues kind of zoned out during your presentation yet you didn’t know how to get them excited about the topic? All of these scenarios could be improved or avoided all together with nonverbal intelligence.
You communicate nonverbally. All day. Every day. But are you communicating on purpose? Or are you leaving the main portion of your communication to chance and just hoping that your audience is getting the message you are intending?
Nonverbal intelligence is measured by the content of your message, how you deliver your message, and (often neglected or overlooked) how your message is received. To improve in these three areas, you must be:
Each of these requires unpacking and practice. We’ll be talking about this more and providing opportunities for practice in the next couple of weeks. In fact, this October we’ll be launching a platform where you can regularly practice, get feedback and get personalized coaching within the “H2H Membership.” If you don’t want to wait til October, however, you can get in on the Founder’s Launch! We open July 27-31. In fact, that whole week we’ll be giving demonstrations of nonverbal communication coaching in addition to mindset coaching, case workshops, voir dire circles, and other essential training. That will all happen in the From Hostage to Hero Facebook Group so make sure you’re part of that community. JOIN HERE.
Want to volunteer to be coached or to bring your case to a workshop? SIGN UP HERE.
For a list of all the training/coaching opportunities and to get registered to attend, CLICK HERE.
Last week I had you take a little quiz. Let’s review:
Your answers to these questions only served to highlight the fact that YOU are a hostage too, and, as we know, hostages can’t save other hostages. Only heroes can.
So how do you stop being a hostage and become the hero jurors need?
If you’re looking for a magic spell and a wave of a fairy wand, you’ve come to the wrong place. It doesn’t exist. There’s not a quick fix. It’s a path, a process, a transformation.
HOWEVER, there are immediate things you can do right now to start your path and see results as you cast a vision towards what will be.
First, you’ve got to show up for yourself! You’ve got to dig in and be ready to look inward, to evaluate, to name your limiting beliefs and learn to identify your most powerful self. I swear this isn’t some woo-woo bullshit. If you don’t show up for yourself and do the personal work, how can you ever expect that your jurors will show up for you? Dig in. Step up. Do the work. I’ll help you.
Second, as you’re shifting your mindset and are stepping into your power, you must also recognize how your role is ever changing and therefore requires adept, agile-like moves on your part. Your transformation is not private. It’s public. In the courtroom. You adapt to the demands and you follow the path:
It’s important work. It MUST be done, and you’re the one to do it.
In the weeks to come I’ll give you some tools to add to your belt and we’ll work on some of the necessary skills to help you as you transform from hostage to hero.
Things to Check Out